Not sleeping.

Situation is simple.

I fucked up, I hurt someone I swore to love forever. I pushed them away, and I realized what I had done and asked for another chance. Problem is, that person is into someone else, and although they consider giving me another chance, they still want to see where that other relationship goes too. We were together for a long time, and it's too hard to know that they want to continue with that other relationship as well. I though what we had was unique, but I guess there wasn't much special about me after all, because they like that other person just as much or more.(at least that's my take) And while he has her on his brain, he will be the only one on mine, get the irony?

So the end of it is, even though I can promise to try 100% next time, and I can promise to wait as long as they need, I can't wait while they pursue someone else. I have pride. I may even have a large ego (not sure), so it's not going to work.
Even if they stopped pursuing that person, I will always know that they will think "what if" about them, and in the end, I can't live with that. I really wanted to try again...I'm sorry. I can't meet you either. It will just make it worse.