Musica

I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground, and by protecting my heart truly, I got lost in the sounds, I hear in my mind all of these voices, I hear in my mind all of these words, I hear in my mind all of this music and it breaks my heart, and it breaks my heart. - Regina Spektor - Fidelity

So I am sitting at home, trying to figure out how I'm going to come up with money to pay my past due bills...it's too suffocating to think about money. I hate money.

I would like to have a moment of clarity and possibly luck as well, because it would be LUCKY to find a job and to figure out what the hell I should be doing right now!!! I'm soooo confused!

I am afraid of disappointment again. When you want to move forward, you fall back scared that it's going to happen again and I don't want to fail twice in a row. What am I talking about? haha. What else? Boys...I'm a girl, so that's always on my mind right? I'm so shallow. Anyways, I never used to question myself with them, now I feel like no one likes me at all. I feel like such a loser!!!

Well, I've basically downloaded alot of music over the last day, and now I'm listening to it. haha. Here's some of my new music:

The Runaways
The Perishers
Regina Spektor
Dido
Jeff Buckley
The Cranberries
Janis Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Enya
Foo Fighters
Linkin Park
James Blunt
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Lucinda Williams
Muse
Norah Jones
Pat Benatar
Robin Thicke
The Ting Tings
& Wilco

Pretty big list, no?

I downloaded almost ALL of Jeff Buckley's music. Definitely a talented artist.

Hmmm, I don't know what else to say, except that I am really bored, and I need to be saved from this boredom. My brain is going to melt from boredom!!!

Pace,
Lola

Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore...

It's true.

Excuse me for being a cynic, but doesn't it bother you when you watch everybody making a fool of themselves to be noticed, or to fit in like everybody else? Why does everyone care what everyone else thinks?

I know I don't have as many friends as other people in the world do, but the reason for that is because I would rather have less friends who accept me for my individuality, than to have more friends who like that I conform easily to what they think or do.

I hate people who live by other peoples rules and expectations.