Almost!!!

So, I'm not exactly sure what the hell happened, but I was working with my step-dad earlier. We were fine just working then we went to the dump and stuff and after we left, he took me home and told me I was done because he didn't want to work with me.
I have no idea what I did because I wasn't even really talking. I was listening to my ipod while we were driving in the car...
So basically I'm stuck at home, and now I'm not getting paid enough to pay my bills.

It's just bothers me because I didn't even do anything, and it was really mean.
So basically I want to cry. (Thank god I don't cry)

Anyways, I don't have any plans tonight. I might go over to my friends house, but there won't be much going on, so I probably won't last all night. I will probably be asleep by 10.
I think that's what happened last year. haha.


This is kinda how I feel right now...

so

I just thought I should post a picture on here of a hottie...hehe

So, about yesterday, and my empty day today.

Hey!

So, if you haven't read my ranting from yesterday, be warned, its not so pretty, but I was feeling really sick, and I wasn't in a great mood, so I bitched.
I feel like people always make themselves out to be the victim, and I'm always the villian.
It gets really tiring after a while, so I am just turning my cheek from now on.
But that's not why I came on today.

News, I have my voice almost completely back, I feel a bit better, and I have the entire day off! What should I do? I don't have money to spend, and I can't be too physical, as I am still sick and easily short of breath.
I kind of want to go to the duck pond in Santa Maria and feed the ducks, but SOMEBODY took that opportunity away from me because his family is moving right next to it, and I'm sooo not running into them (or him). SO, maybe I should go to visit my sister at the cemetary. I didn't go for Christmas, in fact, the only time I ever go is when my mom takes me.
I don't like going that much. I mean, there's no connection there. I haven't even visited my dad in forever, if EVER. by myself...

But back on the subject...I dont know what to do. I wish I had money, and that I wasn't sick, because I really want a new tattoo and I want to get my marilyn piercing, but I can't afford to pay bills, so I can't do anything.
I think I should take Reina on a walk (the dog) to the park. That might be good, I need some fresh air.
Well, I need to find something to do before I go mad.

Peace.

What's Cookin Good Lookin?

So I completely lost my voice...

I've been sick and last night I decided to go out with my sister (which was way more dramatic than I can deal with) and I guess a mix of the alchohol and screaming and sickness just got to me. I HAVE NEVER lost my voice before! It's weird! I sound like a tranny, or a little boy going through puberty. It's kinda funny! But it hurts to try and talk too much or too loud.

I went to bed at 5 o'clock this morning, and I got up at 7 am....I have basically been sleeping all day because I am so exhausted! I'm still tired!

Being sick sucks....

Anyways, Christmas was good! I got a GPS, so when I move back to LA I will finally know my way around! YAY!

I don't think I will do anything for New Years, probably stay up to bang on pots and pans. haha.
Maybe I will watch Crocodile Hunter reruns...who knows? I'm living life on the edge!

Oh and update: Secret Garden is one of my new favorite movies! I love it!

Hi.

Went to look at a job down in Cambria today. It was far...(If you don't understand my meaning, I am my step-dad's assistant, for his construction company.)

Cambria is really cute! It's got this tiny little town with little cafe's and bookstores. Then me and Rob went to Jade Cove and stole some jade rocks...well, I THINK they are jade rocks, but since I don't really know what jade looks like, I just grabbed some pretty green rocks off the beach. It was cold, and I got really dirty! I was so mad, because I didn't realize we were going to a beach, and I wore normal jeans and I got sand and mud all over my jeans, in my jacket pockets, on my headphones, and ofcourse, embedded in my shoes for all eternity. But the rocks are pretty! haha.

Uh-oh, I just burped and realized my throat is hurting a little bit. I better not get sick, or I will have to kick my mom's butt! (not really, I wuv my mommy)

And, that's that. Not much more to say. ;)

I'll get back here soon.

Ciao dahlings.

Huh...?

Hey! Guess what???

CHRISTMAS IS ON THURSDAY!!!

Exciting!

Anyway, I worked with my step-dad on Thursday and Friday...the most painful work I have ever done! We dug trenches and levelled ground for new construction...and we werent digging in dirt, we were digging in CLAY! It was so hard. Seriously, you don't know hard work until you have dug clay trenches for 7 hours straight!!! My whole body has been hurting since Thursday.

So, news to me...I might be going back down to LA for a few months around Feb. to go to casting and stuff, because I might as well, since I don't have anything going on around here! Besides, I'm sick of sitting around wondering what the hell I'm going to do with my life, and not doing anything about it! It's a waste of time, really.

No news about much else. School is out (did I say that already?) and that's a relief. I wanted to go back for a few classes, but I don't think I can afford it, and I probably wouldn't finish since I might be moving to LA again. So, ya know.

I finished reading the book Blood and Gold by Anne Rice. I actually really liked it! I usually don't find her books as appealing without my beloved Lestat, but I was pretty drawn to the words. So I was excited to read it. And I got the next in her series, which is Pandora, and then I will finish off her chronicles with Vittorio, The Vampire. It's kinda sad, considering I've almost come to an end with her vampire chronicles! There are so many, and I have ALL of them. I even bought Blackwood Farm, to start reading her Mayfair Witches chronicles. It should be good to, but I have to do everything in order, because I would go crazy if I didn't. I am way to OCD to do things out of order.

But ya, If you need something to read, I definately suggest the Vampire Chronicles from Anne Rice, they are so interesting and so epic feeling that they definately keep you interested.

I know what you are thinking, "Gosh Stephanie, why do you read so many vampire books?!"
Let me tell you, it is completely coincidental, well, mostly, but I think that I have always found vampires to be interesting to read about...but Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire was the first vampire book I ever read. I liked vampire movies when I was younger (and still do). I don't really know what it is, but I don't walk around thinking I'm a vampire or anything lame like that. I am not pale, I don't have black nailpolish, I don't have a closet consisting of only black clothes, and I don't have a love of night...in fact, I'm quite blind at night...well, I'm quite blind in the day as well, but at night, it's worse. I do like the night, but I don't thrive in it. ;)

So I have babbled a lot, haven't I?

Let's check...anything else?

Oh, I saw Wanted and Mamma Mia a few days ago, I really liked both.

I thought Wanted was pretty cool, and Mamma Mia was cute. I think Colin Firth is kinda sexy, even though he is really old, and plays a gay guy, but for some reason, he's hot to me.

Yep, I'm weird...

Anyways, Ciao!

Stephie

Burr

Back from the boat...it was ok.

I basically froze my ass off the entire weekend. I couldn't cope with how cold it was. So, from all the shivering I was doing, I got nauseated and wasn't feeling good.

I watched Boondock Saints at the boat, and I really liked it. It was interesting...the FBI guy was a weirdo though, haha.

AND I have started my...7th or 8th book in the Anne Rice Vampire series, Blood and Gold, it's all about Marius' life, which is definately a long one, so it's pretty cool so far. But I get sad when Lestat isn't narrating the books, which he does less and less the further into the series you get. So, whatever.

ANYWAYS, Tomorrow is Monday, and I don't know what the hell is going on this week. So I will let ya know later.

Ciao

Roswell :(

I finished watching Roswell last night. I cry every damn time. Im such a loser, but I can't help it. I love Liz and Max. They are the perfect couple, and it makes me sad to watch it all end. Even if I have seen it end a few times...

Im going to my parents boat this weekend to watch the Light Show or something...

I think dogs are disgusting, well ones with big lips at least. I can't stand listening to Reina (our boxer) lap up water, its so gross. IT MAKES ME CRAZY!

Anyways, that's that.

Ciao.

Hehe

Like my festive background? Me <3

Hey!

So nothing has been happening lately. I really need to get a job, cuz I am piss broke...

I read a new book "Second Glance" by Jodi Picoult, I might have said this already...but I finished it yesterday.
The beginning was slow, but after a while, I couldn't put it down. I really enjoyed it.

School is almost through, I might go to Texas to help Rob out with work. That would be cool.

So, I watched This Christmas last night with the fam, and it was really cute. Chris Brown is pretty hot, even though he's too young for me. ;)

I am way behind on Christmas shopping, as I have no money to do it, so I am a little annoyed at that. But what can you do?!

That is basically all their is, oh and the fact that it is getting way cold lately, and its no fun!

So ya, ciao!

Yep

I just watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.
It was really cute.

...still nothing worth writing at the moment :(

oh well

Im off the lemonade diet...it's too hard. The lemonade is too gross and I was craving too much crap. I have no self control...:(

Hey!

So I have started the Lemonade Diet today...the lemonade crap sucks! It's really strong and burns my throat...but hopefully, it gets better.

Anyways, I saw the Britney Spears thing on MTV last night, and I gotta say...It was really sad. She seems really unhappy. But I still lurve her, and I'm definately buying her album tomorrow. I know, It goes against all the music I usually like, but I can't help but like her. It's the inner pop princess in me...ok, not.

I'm still watching Roswell, and I'm almost done with the entire series, and it makes me sad, cuz I love me some Jason Behr! Sooo hot. Oh well :(

There's not really anything going on with my personal life, so I will just leave the blog at that.

Peace Out

Snap

Yay-Yay

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not much more to say than that! Still waiting for family to come so I can eat all the black olives and cookies...and maybe some pie.

I watched Tropic Thunder last night...it was crazy. I actually thought it was funny, but some of it was beyond my comprehension, because I didn't get some of the things they were saying. Either way, my celebrity crush is Robert Downey Jr., I don't care how old he is, I think he is soooo fucking sexy! Me <3 him.

Stephie

yup

So about 1 thing I'm positive:

I failed my Music History test today. haha. I screwed myself over, I didn't study at all! I was too stuck on Roswell all week. I got a bit of piano practice in earlier. The next chapter is learning how to read keys in G...
That sounds much too hard.
It has been raining the last two days. Me love.
Apparently my sister has stopped her conversion to vegetarianism...She lasted maybe a week.
Loser.
I'm over this right now, I still have no interesting things going on in mi vita.

Ciao.

hmmm...

Nothing interesting again, sorry. :(

Yep.

So school sucked today. Basically we learned about the music of the Italian Renaissance. Not Fun! Then I went to Krista's and ate her brownies...they were good. Sorry Krista for eating so much! I also started learning some baby language...I learned how to say "BAH"

Anyways, nothing interesting happened today as you can tell, so I will hopefully have more interesting stuff laterz...

Dream

I had a weird dream...I dreamt I was being followed by debt collectors...weird, haha. I guess it signifies my real life! Not surprising, but my mom woke me up in the middle of it with a text message. So I tried to go back to sleep, then she woke me up again with another text, and the last time I tried, she called me. THANKS MOM!
Now I'm tired, and I have to get ready for school. :(

FYI, I was up WAY too late last night watching Roswell, I'm on the second season, and it's funny because it makes me cry everytime Liz and Max breakup, EVENTHOUGH I know they end up together, but it's soooo sad.

Shower is calling.

Peace.

Up-To-Date

So I'm going to some show at the Grad tonight...some hardcore rap thingie. I am going to hang with my homies and show em how to c walk. No I'm JK. But I am going to the show, and I CAN c-walk, but not good...neways, just wanted to keep up to date. BTW, I still haven't done any homework. Bleck*

Eww, my sister is blasting some lame musica in the living room, playing beer-pong with her friends. Shoot me now.

Hmm

Regarding Twilight...I liked it, but when I was watching it I didn't feel the connection between the book and the movie. The movie was more of a Indie, satirical, less epic version of the book, which is cool if you weren't a devout fan of the book. I would have thought the movie was pretty cool if I hadn't read the book. Anyways, I still like the movie, and I get to see it again manana. ;)

I'm still stuck on ROSWELL, so I will probably be very sedamentary on my bed for a while...(did I use that word out of context?)

General blabbing:

I am going to see Twilight tonight at 6:30 or something...I can't wait! I am also seeing it again tomorrow at 1:40 because my step-sister got ditched on by my mom, so I am gladly taking her place! haha. Also, I am making myself sick with eating tons and tons of skittles right now. And yet again, not getting my homework done. It's a fun feeling...not, but I can't concentrate on it. I better take a shower because being stinky is sooo not my thing.

Also, I've started on a new book a few days ago...Second Glance by Jodi Picoult
It follows the lives of a few different people, and so far seems pretty...mysterious. But I'm taking it slow because I ALSO finally got ROSWELL seasons 1 & 2 ( already had the 3rd) and have been watching it religiously!
ROSWELL is my favorite show of all time, and I looooooooooooooove it...not much more to say besides that.


Scene from Roswell:

Liz: Where are you from?
Max: (points up with his finger)
Liz: Up North...
Max: (lifts his finger higher)
Liz: You're not an...an alien, I mean...(laugh's nervously)
...are you?
Max: I prefer the term not of this earth.
Liz: (stares in disbelief)
Max: Sorry, it's...not a good time to joke.

Some Good Quotes:

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
-Voltaire

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool,than to speak and remove all doubt. ***
-Abraham Lincoln This is one of my favorite quotes :)

If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the Universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it.
-Wuthering Heights-Emily Bronte

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
-Plato

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.***
-Albert Schweitzer

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
-John Muir Had to include a John Muir quote ;)

Today at school.

So I got my homework done just to make sure I didn't skip out on school today because I THOUGHT I was going to give that boy my number...Ya, well, he didn't show up at class today! Either, I'm a loser, or he didn't show up because we had an important assignment due that he didn't finish on time. But either way, what a waste of my day, I should have just skipped!

And you know what else sucks?! I have MAJOR split ends in my hair, and I need to get it cut before I rip it out from frustration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being poor sucks :(

To My Mommy

Her smiles so sweet,
Her love is deep,
When I feel alone,
It’s her arms that support me,
When my heart is breaking,
Her warmth is all I need.

If she ever needs me,
For her, I will try to be,
All she expects of me,
She deserves the world,
So I give her what I have,
A heart full of love,
A kiss on her cheek.

Her smiles so sweet,
Her love is deep,
When I feel alone,
Only her words can support me,
When my heart is weak,
Her warmth is all I need.

To see her cry kills me,
She’s suffered so much,
Oh mommy, for her I’ll always be,
All she expects from me,
She’s my whole world,
She has all of me.

Her smile, so sweet.
Her love, so deep.
Her arms, support me.
Her warmth is all I need.

Tired Thoughts

I am too tired to write,
Although I’m fighting with all my might,
To get a clear consistent thought,
The stars dazzle me, and drown me
Further into the endless night.

Make a wish before you look away,
That your energy can come back full force,
And the sun to shine again,
To feed me vitamin D which is my energies main source.

My mind is grim with thoughts of sorrow,
Yearning for the next time I might feel alive,
To look upon the face of strange perfection,
No, I can’t wait for it to be tomorrow!

If I let go and drown into deep sleep,
Then it will go smoother and quicker,
And the sooner the dark will disappear
Oh well, I just lost my concentration,
My mind is officially asleep now.

Little Girl Dreams

The little girl with the big dream,
Is now a big girl with little hope.
She can only recognize death and hate today.
Unsteadily she walks the path she took,
Instead of the path she hoped for.
Although, not dark,
She is constantly reminded of all her dead passion.
Whatever happened to that drive?
That ambition?
All has been replaced with mistrust and a cold heart.
She wishes she could do it all over again,
To go back to the thriving daydreams, and happiness,
But time won’t turn around,
The memories won’t be rewound.

Poetry

Perfect in all ways
I could lose myself in you
But you are not real
----
Warning in my mind
Telling me to stay away
But I’m too far gone
----
I see a future
Salvation hangs by a thread
Could it be my own?

So basically...

My house is friggin haunted. Last night while I was on here, I was screwing around from sheer boredom, and I SWEAR that out of nowhere, I hear a moan right next to my ear and I completely flipped. Needless to say, I decided it was time to shut off the computer and go to bed. Creep factor hit an all time high with that...

Another thought:

Why do you think musicians always come off as out of their minds?
Why doesn't everyone just understand that it's not normal for Autumn to be 80 degrees everyday, and that Global Warming is happening so fast, that we don't even realize it's already here?
Why do our minds tend to freeze up in tense situations, rather than flowing rapidly and clearly?
Why do men think women care to hear how skillfully they will "do us" when writing music? (we don't care, and it's a real turn off)
Why does the saying "Ignorance is bliss" sound positive?
Why do racist radicals care more about the color of our new soon to be presidents skin, than the thoughts in his head?

First post:

This is my first post, so I will start by stating: I am not consistent, we'll see how long this lasts. :) I am usually only on here to check out P.C. Cast's blog, as I'm a fan of her books.

I guess I could post my current thoughts on random stuff:
Right now, I'm a little annoyed, don't ask on what, because I don't know. It's just a feeling.
I have a crush on a boy at school and he gave me his number last week. When I saw him today at school (I only have class Mon. and Wed.) he told me his phone got shut off that day and that he was really mad because he just gave me his number...so I brilliantly said "Oh, that sucks. Ya, well, I actually suck at calling boys, I'm kinda shy. I'd give you my number, but I'll see you on Wednesday and just give it to you then..." Did I not sound like a total moron? Why didn't I take the 2 seconds it requires to write down my number and give it to him? ugh...

I also have bills that aren't getting paid, it's putting a damper on my mood, Oh, and as always, homework that's definately not getting done.